(Originally posted 4/22/15 on my old site)
It starts with:
Being fat is wrong and bad.
Then these lies follow:
Especially if you’re a woman…
Being fat prevents you from being beautiful.
If you’re not beautiful nobody can or should love you.
Men will not find you attractive.
What men think of you is very important.
Being fat is your fault.
You should do everything you can, not to be fat, even if you are sick or miserable or poor or even if you are risking your life.
Even if you are pregnant you should not get too fat and you must lose every pound you gained during pregnancy.
If you fail to become thin, it is your fault, no matter how hard you tried.
It is easy to lose weight. Just go on a diet.
If you can’t lose weight you are lazy and don’t deserve love, kindness, or happiness.
It is OK to be mean to fat people because it’s their fault.
Being fat is unhealthy.
If you lose weight, that is amazing and it’s probably the best thing you can do and it’s a huge accomplishment.
(Pause. You will get more praise for losing weight than nearly any other thing you can do. That’s not a lie. Ok- back to the lies)
You better not ever gain that weight back even though there is a 95% probability that you will and that you will gain even more.
So those are the basics. Those are the lies. Nearly every young girl in this country already has these lies ingrained in her head by the time she’s ten. Almost all girls have been on a diet by the time they’re in middle school.
None of these things are true and yet so much happiness in life is dictated by these lies.
But they all start with number one. We cannot change our thinking about any of them if we don’t change our thinking about the very first one. This is the hardest one for many people to get over. There is a mountain of evidence that neither that lie nor any that follow are true, and yet we persist in our thinking about that one.
This is not merely a fat woman’s issue. It affects all women. All women are told this and it affects them- fat or not.
So- what do we do? There are many things we can do, but we first have to recognize these lies and call them out.
A good next step is to stop acting like body fat is the worst thing about a human being.
SO- in an effort to remind myself of everything I know to be true regarding weight loss and body image- here is the picture I was afraid to post because I thought I looked too fat in it. That is me and my beautiful baby in the cutest onesie they make with a watermelon on the butt. I think we look beautiful. How dare I hide this watermelon butt from the world because I’m ashamed of my belly? That belly MADE that watermelon butt.
That’s all for now.